You Are More Than What You See with Darryll Stinson
Darryll Stinson is a husband, father, former D1 athlete, motivational speaker, and founder of Second Chance Athletes. At a young age, Darryll had to take care of his younger sisters because his father was fairly absent in his life. Through custody battles and being teased at school, Darryll found sports which then became his identity.
After his career in sports ended, Darryll discovered his passion for helping former athletes find their identity after sports. It’s very common for athletes to use the sport that they play as a form of identity. However, Darryll is an advocate of identifying oneself with values, morals, or things you’re passionate about. After his mentor showed him this technique, he has been able to show others how to do the same.
Darryll reminds us that rejection can be used to thrust you into success. No one wants to be rejected, especially men. They even try to go out of their way to be accepted and receive affirmation. However, when we get rejected in life, it always points us in another direction that we never would have thought if we hadn’t been rejected.
“When you feel that moment of rejection, process that moment and make a better conclusion.” Instead of feeling inadequate or like the world is out to get you, recognize that it may be the other person’s insecurities that are driving their decision. Once you realize this, you can step back and come to a better conclusion that will leave you feeling content and secure in yourself.
What You’ll Learn:
Darryll recalls his childhood where his father wasn’t around much because he was a college athlete. He had to take care of his mother and his sisters so he was forced to grow up quickly.
Darryll recalls being teased for being the black kid that “talks and acts white.” He got rid of all his white friends and started living the street life.
Pride is just a mask that we put on so that we don’t have to deal with rejection.
Darryll was so driven to be good at sports because he didn’t want to be rejected. Without sports, he was afraid that people wouldn’t like him.
When your identity is attached to your activity, you make poor decisions. We identify who we are with what we do.
Start introducing yourself without telling people what your job is. We get so used to telling people what we do because we’re men and we’re providers – that’s what we identify with.
You don’t need to be more selfish, per se. You need to make time for yourself so that you can give more and make an impact.
Rejection vs projection.
When you feel that moment of rejection, process that moment and make a better conclusion.
Questions to ask to understand the difference between rejection and projection: Why? You can’t have emotional intelligence if you don’t process the emotions.
Darryll recalls his emotional intelligence in raising girls. Sometimes you don’t have to fix it; sometimes, you just have to sit with it.
Darryll talks about his new book Who Am I After Sports? : Athlete’s Roadmap to Discovering Purpose and Live Fulfilled. It’s for athletes who are trying to figure out who they are after their sports career ends. It talks about dealing with the transition.
Darryll recalls a pivotal moment in his life. “You are more than what you see.”
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