When it comes to making mistakes, how likely are you to forgive yourself? This podcast episode will rattle you. My guest, Gavin Meenan has come from the ashes both personally and professionally. I won’t spoil it for you, but there are a lot of stories that we go into in depth of how he went through gut-wrenching life events.
Gavin Meenan is a nationally recognised leader in the Irish health and fitness industry. Through this hands-on work with people from all walks of life, Gavin soon learned that mindset is the most critical component of success. Whether it’s in the gym, at home or in the workplace, battles are won and lost in your mind – long before you make your first move.
Gavin’s belief in this truth has been reinforced by thousands of hours spent honing his skills, delivering results for his clients, and overcoming personal challenges.
Gavin is now expanding his business to serve men everywhere. His number one goal is to help them grow stronger and live better – inside the gym, and outside it too.
What You’ll Learn
Summary & Show Notes:
7:04 Interview Begins
20:04 Porn Addiction
Gavin Meenan shares his struggle with porn and says that since he was a child he had to work a lot, for him his self-esteem was linked to feeling productive, when he was fired from 2 jobs and couldn’t support his daughter and wife he became isolated and began to feel depressed and worthless and hooked up on porn. He realized that the problem was his way of looking at his situation, he was always looking to blame others instead of taking responsibility and saying: what can I do to change?
24:45 Car Accident
The car accident Gavin caused resulted in the death of a woman, he mentions that those emotions of anger, anguish, regret, guilt or sadness he felt were because of this accident. After the accident people told him to live his normal life, something he tried to do but today he realizes that this is where this unresolved trauma originated and that he only avoided it by running away.
32:33 Guilt & Forgiveness
Gavin Meenan shares the story of what it was like after the accident. It was a very hard moment for Gavin to accept that the family of the woman who died in the accident did not hold a grudge, on the contrary. But he was still filled with guilt and could not forgive himself. The goal with his therapist was for him to forgive himself, because he knew this woman and she was his friend and he knew that if he could talk to her she would tell him to forgive himself.
41:16 Time & Porn
Larry Hagner talks about the problem with porn: people always justify that it doesn’t hurt anyone or that they don’t want to bother their partner with more sex. Another problem is all the time spent on it, it’s very easy to lose yourself for hours instead of investing that time in something useful for your life and the lives of those around you.
46:00 Addiction & Comfort
For Gavin Meenan, watching porn is cheating, because at the end of the day you’re investing your time in something that doesn’t benefit your relationship. He mentions that men become addicted because they find some comfort or it helps them to soothe the pain, to lose themselves in a fantasy and gives them a false sense of being in control when they feel they are not in control of their life.
49:17 Catalyst for Personal & Business Growth
His addiction to pornography led him to chat rooms, which eventually ended with a video leaked. Being hit again by the consequences of his addiction and choices and being totally exposed led him to change his perspective and decide to help other men like him.
1:06:34 Marriage After Porn
Gavin mentions that his wife was not okay with all of this, but she is a forgiving person and has been very supportive of him in this process despite the personal cost it has taken. He talks about his issues with rejection and how that also affected his porn addiction. Staying married has involved a healing process where communication has been key, Gavin no longer hides or runs away from his wife, he shows and expresses his feelings
Gavin Meenan’s Links
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