Many of us are frustrated with our relationships. We’re settling for mediocre marriages that we don’t know how to revive. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Our relationships are not the problem. The problem is that we lack the skills to make them into what they could be. Today you will be empowered with those skills.
We are fired up to talk to Shana James. She is a coach, TEDx speaker, author, and the host of the Man Alive podcast. She is here to help us understand what women love most about their men. She is going to teach us how to ask for what we need and what we desire without fear. She also shows us how to access our power, confidence, and clarity so that we can live truly extraordinary lives.
For 15 years Shana has coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers, and people with big visions who step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create more effective teams, increase their impact, get promoted, find love, rekindle the spark, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.
She’s been known for her ability to assess, in just a few minutes, the cause of dissatisfaction and stuck points in her clients’ professions and love lives. Then she creates a clear and unique path for them to have true success and incredible love.
Referred to as a secret weapon, she cuts through distraction and provides direct access to your confidence, power and clarity. She is also a translator between women and men, providing effective tools to transform conversations and dynamics that have gone awry into connection and collaboration.
With an M.A. in psychology, DISC certification, Coaching training, more than a decade facilitating groups and workshops, starting multiple businesses, and helping hundreds of entrepreneurs start their own, her range of skills is unlike many other coaches.
What You’ll Learn
[11:14] Shana had a hard time connecting during the pandemic. One thing that brings Shana joy is nature, getting out, and hiking.
[12:30] Shana tries not to take life too seriously as a parent.
Things she finds attractive about a man
[13:43] Shana finds it attractive when a man expresses a range of strength, and at the same time, expresses emotions of sadness and fear. She also feels attracted to honesty and communication, and a man with a vision and purpose.
Vulnerability among men
[19:34] What surprises Shana is men’s vulnerability towards how they feel. A lot of men don’t have an opportunity to share without fear. This shows up through frustration.
[23:33] It is not just about physicality, it is even harder for men to say that they need love.
The biggest problem of a relationship
[25:54] Shana said that one of the biggest pain points of a relationship is communication and be willing to take the risk of having a difficult conversation. What happens outside of the bedroom affects what happens inside the bedroom.
Problems and factors that affect sex
[28:46] Women often fall out of the mood when they have on their minds. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in our wife’s shoes in order for us to realize what is affecting their reactions to us asking for physical attention.
Difference between Masculine and Feminine Energy
[32:20] Men often slow down if their wife is a stronger woman, but for men, getting things done gives us a more empowered feeling.
Listening to your partner
[37:52] Listening to your partner is important. You need to understand how they feel and what they have to say in order for you to understand where they are coming from. This connection will help loosen each other up and lead to understanding.
[40:52] Context of the conversation is important as well. You need to make your partner feel that you will listen to understand, and you need to tell them where your mind is. This will remove her fears and anxiety.
[43:34] On the opposite side of every complaint is a desire. Women tend to have the stereotype to nag. Instead of letting it go, seek to understand why something is wrong.
Knowing you can explore more in your relationship
[45:12] You don’t need to know what you are supposed to do. You can explore together. Stay humble and curious.
Men Asking for What They Need
[46:34] Men often do not want to feel inferior, so they resist asking for what they need.
[52:41] Rejection does not feel good, especially when you feel that it’s personal.
Receiving and accepting your partner’s feedback
[56:37] You need to take in what is happening with your partner, not just in an intellectual way, but in physical and emotional way.
Shana James’s Links
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