Getting children to obey can be a challenge that wears our patience down to zero. Today’s guest is going to show us how to apply FBI hostage negotiation skills to discussions with our kids in ways that not only get them to do what we want them to do, but also help them become more resourceful and confident.
Chris Voss is the author of Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. He was the lead kidnapping negotiator for the FBI and is the founder of the Black Swan group, whose mission is to help achieve exceptional results in business and personal negotiations using hostage negotiation skills. He shares simple, clever tactics that we can use every day to have productive discussions with our kids while training our own brains to react constructively instead of with frustration.
This episode will totally shift your approach to everyday family squabbles. Get ready to take some notes!
[bctt tweet=”‘Even irrational people are predictable. Every human being acts in patterns.’—Chris Voss @vossnegotiation #men #negotiation #leadership #emotionalintelligence ” username=”gooddadprojct”]
Chris Voss’s Story
Chris Voss planned on being on the SWAT team, but he injured his knee and had to find a new career path. His application to become a negotiator was rejected at first, but he was determined to get the job. He began his training process and acquired most of his experience working a suicide hotline. Chris says that the suicide hotline was an in-depth course on emotional intelligence. He learned how to deal with irrational people and keep himself from getting emotionally engaged. He ended up becoming the lead hostage negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation and has worked 150 incidents internationally.
[bctt tweet=”The secret to negotiations is exhausting the other side. @vossnegotiation #dads #men #fathers #parenting” username=”gooddadprojct”]
What You’ll Learn
- The voice technique Chris uses to calm both himself and his subject down
- The state of ‘flow’ and the brain chemicals it releases
- Why gratitude is crucial to flow
- Why flow is more important than physical capability
- The neuroscience behind smiling and your mood
- How to use flow to become a better father
- How to wear your kids out mentally
- How to plant images into your kid’s brain
- How to use ‘mirroring’ to exhaust kids
- How to negotiate with your kids to force them to think critically
- How to remove triggers to losing your temper in discussions with your kids
- How to build new neural pathways by ‘mirroring’
- Beginning with low-stakes conversations
- How to use ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions to encourage kids to start making decisions for themselves
- Chris Voss’s greatest lessons as a father
- His advice to married men!
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