do the work self sabotage Gary John Bishop

Do the Work: How to Stop the Cycle of Self-Sabotage with Gary John Bishop

Most of us are sabotaging ourselves without even knowing it. How can we become aware of the negative self-talk that’s holding us back in life? And more importantly, how can we teach our kids to debunk their own self-limiting beliefs?

In this episode, we have one of our most popular guests back just in time for 2020—the one and only Gary John Bishop.

He’s the NY Times Bestselling author of Unf*ck Yourself and Stop Doing That Sh*t. He was a speaker at The Dad Edge Summit 2018, and this is his 4th interview with us on The Dad Edge Podcast.

Gary has just released a workbook to accompany Unf*ck Yourself called Do the Work, and he is going to make us do that work today!

Gary talks about the three categories we need to address in life to break free from self-limiting beliefs. He tells us how to get real with our own bullsh*t and about how we interact with others. He also talks about why the idea of “finding” your purpose is flawed and what you really need to show up big in your life.

If you’re familiar with Gary John Bishop, you already know what’s coming. Brace yourself for some hard truths!


Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his irreverent, tough-love, in-your-face approach to personal growth and development. Coupled with his world-class training, Gary has created the kind of message that cuts through the crust of people’s lives to root out the deeper issues that consume and anchor them to their self limiting behaviors and beliefs.

Gary’s many years of experience as a Senior Program Director for one of the world’s leading personal development organizations is proof of his professionalism, dedication and commitment to what is possible for all human beings. He authentically doesn’t claim perfection. Like most people his life has been both challenging and at times seemingly overwhelming. He has experienced the same kind of defeat, despair, loss, burden, shame and guilt that we all do at various points in our lives and has used his background, both personal and professional, to unleash a unique and vital message that blasts a hole through the BS of the self help industry. He is unnervingly real, on point and his words make a difference.

As one of the leading Personal Development experts in the world with a reputation that has impacted hundreds of thousands of people, his “urban philosophy” approach represents a new wave of personal empowerment and life mastery that has caused miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.


Based on the New York Times bestseller Unfu*k Yourself comes an all new book of prompts, questions, and exercises, giving you the tools to intentionally commit to finally unfu*king your life.

In Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop inspired people to put his words into action to transform their fu*king lives. Through seven paradigm shifting assertions such as: “I am wired to win,” “I embrace the uncertainty” and “I expect nothing and accept everything,” Bishop helped millions of readers to move past their self-imposed limitations.

Still, Bishop knows it’s hard to go from reading the book, feeling inspired, and then actually doing the necessary work. That’s where Do the Work comes in: it’s the kick in the ass you need to get moving and create the life you want. The workbook drills down into three categories — self, people, and purpose — to help you identify and remedy the challenges that frustrate and often cripple us.

Filled with entirely new material, including personalized prompts and exercises with ample lined space to journal and process, Do the Work expands the lessons in Unfu*k Yourself, giving you the tools to intentionally commit to taking on your life.

“This is a personal workshop for your brain, a legit resource where you can work your life out, what matters to you, what’s going to make the biggest difference and empower you to act in ways that make some palpable change to the direction your life is currently taking.”

The truth will set you free, right? So what are you waiting for?

“All the bad traits your kids have, they picked up from you.”—Gary John Bishop


  • How men/fathers suffer with self-sabotage and internalize it.
  • What to do when your kids come to you with self-sabotaging beliefs (dads need to do more than just tell them to believe in themselves).
  • Look at your thoughts about a situation. It never means what you’re making it mean. Can it mean something else?
  • If we don’t pay attention, we interpret life in the same way, using the same destructive filter.
  • Why dads must give up the illusion that they have the say in how things turn out for their kids.
  • More often than not, all kids want is to be in communication. They don’t want your solutions.
  • Ask your kids questions instead of telling them how they should react or what they should do.
  • As a dad, give yourself a break when you don’t have all the answers.
  • Be authentic with your kids. Don’t pretend you know everything.
  • Don’t hide arguments with your spouse. Show your kids how you resolve conflict.
  • Questions to help your kid snap out of a negative or victim mindset
  • As a father, strive to show consistent character rather than creating defining moments of wisdom.
  • How willing are you to consider that your life is not a result of your circumstance, but of the self-talk that is brining you down?
  • The way you talk about life is giving you the emotional state you experience.
  • How being authentic is something you must be constantly doing in the present moment
  • You’re the most inauthentic with yourself first. Then it branches into your relationships.
  • The way you filter life starts with you replaying dynamics from your childhood with your parents.
  • The final bullshit is that “you’re not good enough,” a line you sold yourself so you can avoid taking your life head-on.
  • Question to ask yourself: What it’s like to live with you? Observe yourself doing life.
  • Your personal integrity. Do you follow through with your promises?
  • Even your darkest secrets are insignificant in the universe.
  • You must walk through your darkness to transcend it.
  • Purpose does not have to be mystical. You don’t find your purpose. You create your purpose.
  • If you don’t insert purpose into your life, what you’ll have is a life of distractions—answering emails, paying your electric bill, going to the movies, buying shoes, etc. Content with the absence of purpose is a shallow existence.
  • To have purpose in your life, you don’t have to change your life. You only have to change who you are in it!
  • When you change, life shows up in new ways.
  • If you don’t do the work 100%, your life will be a reflection of what you declare.
  • If you DO THE WORK and take an unflinching look at yourself, over time, your life will start working
  • How do you know when your life starts to work? You’ll notice nothing is wrong. Everything is okay.
  • Trust yourself. You can figure this out.
  • Gary John Bishop’s upcoming book about making yourself wiser about love, loss, success, and fear.


How to Unf*ck Yourself with Gary John Bishop

Coming to Terms with Your Own Bullsh*t with Gary John Bishop

Stop Doing That Sh*t with Gary John Bishop

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