The Loss of a Child: One Father’s Story
Having a special needs child is one of the biggest challenges a parent can face. But the loss of a child is so inconceivably painful, many of us can’t bear the thought of it. Today we talk to a man who has endured both.
Zane Shook’s baby had all the chips stacked against him. The doctor gave Zane and his wife the option to abort, but despite the odds, they committed to having their child. Wyatt was born with a chromosomal disorder and severe birth defects that prevented him from ever speaking. He was mentally challenged and unable to walk, but that didn’t keep him from laughing and enjoying life. Wyatt courageously fought to live, but just shy of his eighteenth birthday, he lost the fight.
Zane Shook talks about the little warrior his son was, the joy Wyatt brought to his life, and how he survived the insurmountable grief of losing him. You will want to pay close attention to this special episode.
The dying away of all we thought mattered, with the birth of the only thing that truly matters is dadhood.–Zane Shook
A Warrior Named Wyatt
“I want to tell you about a warrior.
A warrior named Wyatt Zane.
My mentor, hero, cuddle and battle buddy, my son, my king…
Wyatt means small courageous fighter, and courageous in battle.
He lived up to that name.
We won many battles, but sadly, we lost our war…
The only thing harder than losing a child is learning to live again.
You have to find a way to forgive yourself.
When we are shattered, we get to choose how we put ourselves back together.
From pain comes power.
In grief, can greatness be born.
it is beautifully tragic.
Whoever, where ever you are, if you can hear my voice.
I believe in YOU!!
For all the fathers fighting their own battles, big and small,
KNOW THIS…
You are stronger than you realize.
Sleep is overrated, you will endure.
If you can learn to still yourself when you are tired, confused and afraid,
you will not only find a special beauty in that moment, but in yourself.
For this is the fire in which we are truly forged.
Trust your instincts, live, laugh, and love with ferocity.
Wyatt Zane Shook
My Lil Warrior and King
My greatest love”
~Zane Shook
What You’ll Learn
• How learn to live again without your children
• The grief process when losing a child
• Accepting that the grief will be a part of you
• Finding inspiration to keep you grounded
• The guilt a father feels after losing a child
• Giving yourself permission to live again
• When times get dark, bathe in the darkness. Don’t try to fight it.
• Be methodical and precise despite fear and anxiety.
• Put one foot in front of the other—not moving on, but moving forward.
• Zane honors his son Wyatt by staying strong.
• Put a system in place to check yourself.
• How Zane keeps positive—volunteer, go outdoors, hobbies, martial arts, writing, sharing his story with other parents.
• Zane’s upcoming books
MENTIONED EPISODES:
Raising Kids with the Dichotomy of Leadership with Jocko Willink
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