Thomas Fiffer, divorced dad

Essential Parenting Tips for the Divorced Man with Thomas Fiffer – GDP016

ByLarry Hagner

[iframe style=”border:none” src=”http://html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/3694589/height/75/width/834/thumbnail/no/theme/standard” height=”75″ width=”834″ scrolling=”no” allowfullscreen webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen oallowfullscreen msallowfullscreen]

Essential Parenting Tips for the Divorced Man

Larry and Shawn were extremely grateful to have Thomas Fiffer on the show.  Thomas is an author and the Executive Editor of The Good Men Project.  Thomas oversees over 200 published articles per week from several different writers.  The site is dedicated to be a shining example of the modern man.  The Good Men Project is one of the most popular sites for men and women generating over 3 million unique visitors per month.  It offers several resources, blogs, articles, and links to books that help men and women simply understand each other better.

Key Take-Aways

In this episode, Thomas gives us several key strategies to help any divorced man:

  • Overcome common challenges of divorced Dads

  • How to model healthy relationship behavior to our kids

  • How to Dismantle the stereotypical incompetent father stereotype

Advantages to being a Divorced Man

The divorce rate is nearly 47% in the US.  Unfortunately, being a divorced man in the 20th century comes with several challenges.  However, Thomas shares a few insights that can be advantageous.

1.  There can be “relief and peace” within divorce. Meaning, once a relationship is beyond repair, divorce can offer an opportunity for each individual to heal from a troubled relationship.
2.  Divorce can also allow us to show up better as a parent without the constant stress and presence of a troubled relationship.
3.  Limited time with with kids allows the divorced man to give 100% of his attention to his children while he is in their presence.

Model Healthy Relationship Behavior

Modeling healthy relationship behavior to our kids can certainly be a challenge when divorced dads have limited time with kids.  Tom shares his insights about what it means to model healthy relationship behavior being a divorced man.

  • Respect:  Respect is the foundation of any relationship.  Ensuring we are teaching our kids through example about respect.  Finally, ensuring that we are demonstrating what “self-respect” is to our kids through example.

  • Control the Controllables:  The only people we can truly control are ourselves.  Don’t waste time or energy trying to control someone else in a relationship.

  • Be The Best for the Ex:  As difficult as that may sound, it will eventually make everyone’s life easier.  That doesn’t mean that a divorced man has to be the best for his ex.  It also means the divorced woman has to do the same.  This is a mutual agreement between both people to simply be their best for each other to achieve the same goal of raising healthy kids.

How to recognize a rotten relationship before it’s too late

Thomas wrote an article several years ago that gained a lot of attention on the internet.  The article really hit home with a lot of people.  It was entitled The 7 Deadly Signs of a Dysfunctional Relationship

Below are the 7 Deadly Signs:

1. Tedium: You have the same argument over and over again and never resolve it. This is perhaps the most obvious sign that something is wrong.

2. Blame: Everything is always your fault. And I mean everything. Dysfunctional partners avoid accountability like the plague.

3. Guilt: You’re constantly apologizing, even for things you didn’t do. Keeping the peace requires you to suck it up—every single time. It becomes a joke, the way you take the fall for everything, but it’s not funny, and you begin to feel worthless and ashamed.

4. Tension: When things are good, you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

5. Uncertainty: You never know who’s going to be there when you get home. One night, your partner is sweet, kind, and forgiving. The next, you can do no right.

6. Frustration: Getting even the simplest things done is hugely complicated. Despite your best efforts, you’re always butting heads and can’t work with your partner as a team. If you try to lead, you’re attacked. If you try to follow, you’re never doing enough of the scutwork.

7. Hopelessness: You feel like there’s a dark cloud over your life that won’t go away—a permanent weather system that obscures the sun. This is the saddest feeling of all. You lose your optimism, your light, the spark that keeps you going.

Read Thomas Fiffer’s Full Article Here:  The 7 Deadly Signs of a Dysfunctional Relationship

Free Resources:

Check out a free chapter from: THE DAD’S EDGE on UNLIMITED PATIENCE HERE

Check out this free resource on: CONNECTION WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Check out this free resource on:  CONNECTION WITH YOUR KIDS

Links

Links Mentioned In This Episode

Books Mentioned In This Episode

perfect-supplements-banner3.png Thank You! Thank you so much for checking out this episode of The Good Dad Project. If you haven’t done so already, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a quick rating and review of the show on iTunes by clicking on the link below. It will help us to keep delivering life-changing information for you every week!

Over the past 6 years, I have interviewed over 700 experts on: parenting, mindset, patience, communication, intimacy, optimizing health, and the power of community.

I am the proud father of 4 energetic boys. The husband of my soul mate, Jessica for the past 18 years. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows every day. However, I learned skills to optimize my life as a man, husband, and father. If you are a lifelong learner and you don’t have this thing figured out…join me and let’s continue to learn together!

Live Legendary!

Similar Posts

Take Care of YOU So You Can Serve Others

Take Care of YOU So You Can Serve Others

ByLarry Hagner

Take care of yourself. Simple message, you’ve heard it before. You make sure you get that message across to those you love. Unfortunately, there is one person in your life who you love that may not be heeding that message-you. What you may be doing, instead, is sacrificing yourself, thinking you are doing the best you can for your family when, in reality, you are being a martyr and being self-destructive.

Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner
|

Start Reaching Your Goals with an Accountability Partner

ByLarry Hagner

When it comes to committing to our goals, we often let ourselves down. We’ll sleep in instead of getting that workout in. We’ll give in to that junk food or extra beer. We’ll put off our big dreams for another day. No one will know that we didn’t follow through. But if we have to answer to someone else, the whole game changes. Today we talk about how you can start reaching your goals with an accountability partner.

Jennifer B Wallace – When Achievement Becomes Toxic

Jennifer B Wallace – When Achievement Becomes Toxic

ByLarry Hagner

Jennifer B Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the book “Never Enough: When Achievement Pressure Becomes Toxic–and What We Can Do About It.” She is a frequent contributor to The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post and appears on national television to discuss her articles and relevant topics in the news.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *